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Jaime's April 15 2009 blog posted on Facebook:
Namaste!
That's hello in Hindi... the e makes an 'a' sound... ha.. never mind.
SO yeah! I’ve been working at the coffee shop! I'm a pro at making hot
tomato sandwiches.. but that's all I know how to make haha.
Made a friend.. he does design stuff for the Dalai Lama.. lol
But he's really amazing and supposed to take me to an open mike night
thing tonight.. a bunch of people are coming with me. So hopefully
that'll work out!
I was sick on Easter guys! Easter in India doesn't feel like Easter at
all really haha.. This keyboard is dumb!
But yeah I FINALLY STOPPED being sick last night..
I’ve been writing songs..
I REALLY miss home... my family and my girls..
So yeah I don't remember if I mentioned that I'm going to France this
July for 3 weeks? Give me your money. :)
I'm doing pretty grand right now.. its been a hard week kind of.. the
spiritual stuff is kind of heavy. its no big deal, for Jesus though..
but yeah I've had to overcome a lot of heaviness.. please keep praying
that his joy would be my strength!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SO important!
YIKES!
Also I'm realizing more and more how God Really has changed me! and is
changing me.. in simple yet very profound ways.. Jesus likes YWAM for
this I've decided. but yeah.. I feel like I can really look back on who
I was in Asheville and I am SO much stronger! but I really only want to
keep getting stronger.. I feel like I understand so much better what is
really important in life.
But I'm also learning random things I guess...
One about leading worship.. I didn't realize what a bad attitude I had
about church and Christians and even 'worship' I've been so proud. I
really do want to love people for where they're at.. and lead them into
his presence for where they are. God even now I repent of my rebellion
and my being religious about being religious! Help me not to fall back
into that! I want to be a worshiper.. but also a worship leader though I
have been trying too hard for the last few months to shun that calling..
use me how you want to... no matter what songs I have to sing or who the
people are... use me.
Also I realized how critical I was in Asheville. God help me not to go
back to that either. I don't want to be the judge about everything. I
release.. haha.. the world into your hands.
He's broken down so many walls and so much fear... God help me to stay
free from fear in your love.
I felt like I had tried so hard to build an image for myself that wasn't
completely me...
I don't want to go back to pretending to be tough.. or more loud or out
going than I am.
I choose to accept myself for who I am.. even if I don't make the
funniest joke or have the most friends.
Jesus I don't want to go back to who I was.. only take me further.. let
going to Asheville be only a step forward and not back.. into new
relationships with old friends.. into new jobs and classes and all that
protect me from who I was.. help me to love and learn about who I am
now. Thanks Jesus.
Umm yeah. help me to stay and become more and more abandoned to you!!! I
don't want to hold anything back.. free me from anything that does.. I
want to learn and be everything you want me to while I'm here.. so I can
burn that much brighter when I get home.
I've been trying to spell out with my life that I want you with the big
thing.. but lord with the small things too.. free me to do that. open
all the fingers in my fist. I want to give it all up!
I am your image!
I am perfect and holy because you are
You died so nothing can at any point EVER hold me back!
So set me free! push me out! This hurts and its hard but I want to be
everything you want <3
Clay hardens in the fire.. and wax melts..
Let my heart be wax!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I only want to get softer!
Be bigger inside of me then anything I have to face!
You decide what's beautiful.. you decide what's glorious!
Strip me of pride even more.. of hurts.. heal me..
I know these are stupid prayers that will probably get me in trouble..
but I want you. so yeah.
Help me not to waste anymore time.. but to only chase after you!
but yeah...
I guess I just write that stuff so you guys will know where I am and
keep praying that God does a work in me...
haha I use churchy phrases sometimes now.. this is funny... yay for
Jesus.
I just had a bunch of coffee and am really ADD.. so yeah
LOVE YOU ALL LOTS!!!!! |